7 Movies You Won’t See at the Oscars

By Kevin Barry

The Oscars are this weekend, and while the Academy has snubbed before, we were shocked to hear that some of our favorite films didn’t get a nod this year.

1. Wife of Pi


The inspiring story of a young boy who gets stranded on a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger, and then marries it. I guess Hollywood just isn’t ready interspecies romance.

2. Less Miserable


If there’s one thing the Academy loves, it’s human suffering. Unfortunately for this film, the characters just keep getting less and less miserable as the story goes on. It probably has something to do with the fact that they’re always singing.

3. Stomach Linings Playbook


You’ll laugh; you’ll cry; you’ll get a little queasy. Experience the full gamut of human emotion in this edgy romantic dramedy. Never before has the topic of irritable bowel syndrome been handled with such whimsy. Alka Seltzior!

 4. Van Buren


Lincoln wasn’t the only well-groomed president with a biopic out this year. “Van Buren” follows the wacky mishaps of our nation’s 8th president. Watch as ol’ Marty refuses to annex Texas after accidentally eating pot brownies!

5. Jango Unchained


The true tale of how Boba Fett’s dad went from vengeful slave to badass bounty hunter. He’s that one Mandalorian in 10,000. No wonder they cloned him so many times. George Lucas had to get one more Star Wars movie out there before handing the keys over to Disney.

6. Coke Zero Thirty


The movie AdWeek called “a triumph of product placement.” A crack team of Navy SEALs uses a secret formula (one that delivers real Coke taste with zero calories) to stop the world’s most dangerous terrorist. Getting a bottle of Coke Zero into every shot of the movie wasn’t easy, but they pulled it off. And for that, I think they deserve some recognition.

7. Total Recall


Yeah, that movie just sucked.


Yes, and...

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