Street Violence and Apple™!

Hey everybody!

Its pretty clear that everyone loves internet videos. Every morning when I check Facebook I am greeted by the latest videos about adorable cats, domestic disputes in Atlanta and my personal favorite: people being surprised by something painful.

So, you can only imagine my shock when I found a video that contained all three!*

Check it out:

*I’m assuming there is a cat in the back of that parking lot playing with some yarn.

Like any good friend, the man wearing black knows that there is only one thing that drunk people respect: repeatedly being yelled at in the face. Except, whenever I yell at a drunk person, usually it ends up that I am the one getting punched.

However, it turns out that people who have a MARTA card are unstoppable berserkers of responsibility, with hands skilled in the use of both gesturing and delivering devastating haymakers. When the gentleman in the orange shirt “Craig” is punched in the mouth, he falls like the Roman Empire. The back of his head collides into fiber glass and he finds himself on the pavement, shocked and hatless.

At least he’s got a great friend… oh, wait. EVERYONE JUST LETS HIM GET KNOCKED THE F@#% OUT!

The only call for safety is for that of a phone, and probably a really crappy one. For those of you who think carrying a woman’s phone will make you an ally, be aware that they will jump ship as soon as shit hits the fan. And boy does shit hit the fan! Our caring friend pulls off a final display of fellowship, a bear hug of affection around the carotid artery. A proclamation of love like this hasn’t been seen since the early settlers gave the Native Americans those nice warm smallpox blankets!

This whole ordeal really tired Craig out. At least he got to catch a quick nap on the street, that way he’ll be well rested when he returns his daughter home at 10am the next morning and he can use all of that energy to pick out the gravel embedded in his face.

Well, we here at Automatic Improv don’t have that much experience in being “real.” However, if you’ve ever hung out with any of us, you are probably aware that about half of us own iPhones. Those same people also believe that anything Steve Jobs touches turns to gold (Or at least comes equipped with 3G).

Also, we had some lights. Please enjoy our own version of tough love!


Yes, and...

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