A Tribute: The First in an Irregular Series

I’m starting a new blog segment. Let’s not fool ourselves and pretend that it’s going to happen on a regular basis. We can’t even update this blog on a regular weekly basis, so an additional segment on top of that is definitely a stretch. But this new segment/series/whatever is much needed.

This new series is a tribute.

The first recipient of this HUGE honor, guaranteed to be read by at least my parents, is none other than famed Automatic Improv member, Sarah Simmons Turner.

I have a bit of a gush (girl crush) on Sarah. The attribute of hers that I admire the most is her honesty.  This honesty can be intense and I do not recommend it for the weak at heart. She will not sugarcoat things for you and I respect that. This means that if you’re unsure about something and looking for some friendly encouragement, Sarah is not your gal. She will tell you if you look fat in those jeans, if your voice is too loud, or if your date is too good for you. She will even give you her unsolicited opinion.  The complete upside of this, however, is that if Sarah walks in, sees you, and then says, “nice shirt,” you know for a fact that your shirt is awesome. Whatever Sarah says; it is the truth. That is also awesome.

Adding to my gush, you might have noticed that Sarah is, rather obviously, the “hot” one in Automatic Improv. Every group has one and I feel we are more than adequately represented. (On a selfish note, I like to think that I am the “polite” one, but sometimes am forced to recognize that I am probably the “frumpy one with cats.”) Because Sarah is the “hot” one, she occasionally has to deal with people assuming she is not the “smart” one. (Yes, we do still live in a world where it is thought that a person can not possibly be both smart and pretty. I am sad, too.) A prime example of this is when we ask the audience for suggestions at the beginning of a scene. One question we sometimes ask is, “what job do I look like I have?” Sarah, being beautiful, has to deal with responses that do not suggest the highest of IQs. I have witnessed her asking this question to an audience on two occasions. At the first show, she was given ‘meter maid’ and at the second, ‘waitress.’ Both are admirable professions but not known for their high SAT requirement.

What people don’t realize when they make this knee-jerk reaction is that Sarah is able to defy the laws of physics and be smart and pretty. In a state of morbidity the other day, I was flying in a plane and wondered who I would want with me if the plane crashed. My first thought was Sarah.

I am fairly confident that Sarah would be able to survive in the wilderness with only the refuse from the plane crash. On top of that, she would somehow arrange to have us rescued in a spectacular fashion. My reasoning behind this is the amazing job she has done promoting Automatic Improv. (She just won a ‘Best Marketing’ award. No big.) If you have seen us on the internet, it is solely because of Sarah. (I wrote this blog post out by hand and then had my cat type it into the computer, for heaven’s sake.) Sarah is able to set a goal and then use whatever resources are available to her to make it happen. That’s what I call “smart.” Oh, and, she’s totally pretty, too.

As you can see, Sarah is a very worthy recipient of this incomparable honor. She also just so happens to be in the Automatic Improv show happening tonight at 8pm at Relapse Theatre. Be there to congratulate her, tell her she looks smart, and sounds pretty. You could wish her a happy birthday, too. I know I do!

-Kelly

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